To The One Who Broke Me

I don’t think you realize the lasting damage you have caused. I am still trying to heal completely and it is hard but I will get there. I have taken my power back and felt in control of my life. Built my confidence back up and your words no longer sting.  I forgave myself for allowing you to get into my head and have control over me. I forgave myself for allowing the situation to go on for so long and letting you speak to me the way you did, cheated on me right under my nose. I am building a new person from the broken pieces and I am succeeding.

Photo: CTTO

I learnt that I will value and not waste my words that represent my feeling next time I have for someone. I will not stop being honest and being myself next time I fall in love. I will not be silly to expect returned favors or beg for love no matter how hollow it feels inside. I will continue to put my spirit in my speech and actions to please someone who enters my life. Thank you for teaching me how solitude empowers and grief makes us grounded enough.

I don’t agree with what you did , but I forgave you anyways ,and more importantly I forgave me for doubting and looking down on myself. I will forgive myself for seeing myself less of a person and not worthy to be loved. I will move on knowing I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. I may not forget you, but you will be removed from my head. I will no longer allow you to stay rent free in my mind, you are not a worthy tenant and am I choosing to be happy.

I’m on the process of healing, and moving forward, I found myself. It really wasn’t easy since I was already used having you around, depended on you at some point, relied on your love to make me whole and happy,  but I finally learned how to stand for myself. I was devastated, felt guilty for not being enough, I wanted to take revenge, been silently crying, but when I reached my senses, and consumed by so much emotions that were killing me, I decided to accept what happened and moved on. My world must not stop just because you left me. I found myself surrendering my pain to the Lord. It was really God’s grace that I was able to forgive you. And when I decided to forgive… forgive myself, forgive you and everyone else… slowly all the anger and pain were dwindled until one day it was totally gone. My brokenness led me back to the Lord, and discovering myself. I found my inner strength. I started to dream again and excited for the future. So you see, if you did not break me, I would not realize that you don’t deserve me at all. I’m too good for you, and I should not settle for less, so thank you.

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