“I used to feel so strong. Fit, energetic, confident. So why does my body feel like a stranger to me now?”
If you’ve been googling “why am I gaining weight for no reason,” “why am I so irritable lately,” or “am I going crazy or is this perimenopause” at 2am while your partner sleeps peacefully — hi, hello, same! well, except on the partner part (lol!)
Let me tell you something that took me way too long to find out: what’s happening to you is real. It’s biological. And you are so, so not alone.
Perimenopause — the transition phase that can start as early as your late 30s and stretch through your 40s — is one of the most significant hormonal shifts a woman’s body goes through. And yet? Almost nobody talks about it. No one hands you a manual. You just start experiencing all these weird, exhausting, confusing symptoms and wonder what’s happening to your life.
The Symptoms Nobody Warned Me About
The hot flushes I vaguely knew about. But the rest? That snuck up on me like a surprise bill in the mail.
- Weight gain – that shows up uninvited, especially around the belly — even when nothing in your lifestyle changed.
- Joint and muscle aches – that make you feel like you aged ten years overnight.
- Mood swings and irritability – that are so intense, you don’t even recognize yourself.
- Brain fog – The kind where you’re mid-sentence and you just… lose the word. The thought. The entire point.
- Anxiety and overthinking – tears that come out of nowhere, feeling lost and unworthy — and this is the one that hit me the hardest.
- Social withdrawal – Avoiding events, scared of being judged and avoiding unnecessary comments like “oy, tumaba ka!” like I don’t have a mirror at home, feeling awkward and self-conscious in your own skin.
- Fatigue – that a full 8 hours of sleep doesn’t fix. Always tired, no matter what.
Sound familiar? Because this isn’t weakness. This is estrogen fluctuating wildly, progesterone dropping, cortisol spiking. This is your hormones literally renegotiating the terms of your existence.
“It’s not just in your head. It’s a real biological transition. And you are not alone in this.”
The Emotional Weight Nobody Talks About
Okay but here’s the part that really gets me. The physical stuff is hard, sure. But the emotional toll? That’s the part that almost broke me.
Looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself. Clothes that used to fit just… don’t anymore, and it feels like a betrayal. Pulling away from people because you’re scared they’ll see you struggling. Lying awake wondering — will I ever feel like myself again?
The inner dialogue gets dark. “Why is this happening to me?” “What did I do wrong?” “Am I even desirable anymore?” And babes, none of that is the truth — but when your hormones are in chaos, your brain will absolutely try to sell you that lie.
The breakthrough for me was this: I stopped treating it as a personal failure and started treating it as information. My body wasn’t falling apart. It was changing. And change, even hard change, can be navigated.
What Actually Helped Me (Not a Sponsored List, I Promise)
I started researching. Books, articles, real stories from real women. I learned what perimenopause actually is, what’s happening hormonally, and what my options are. Knowledge, honestly, was the first form of relief.
And then I got practical:
- Eating better and hydrating more – Not a diet. Not restriction. Just genuinely nourishing my body — less ultra-processed stuff, more protein, more water, more color on my plate.
- Gentle workouts – I stopped forcing myself to do intense cardio and started doing what felt good — yoga, walks, light strength training. My body started responding.
- Prioritizing rest and recovery without guilt. Rest is not laziness. Rest is repair.
- Talking to a doctor about what I was experiencing. Hormone support, whether through HRT or natural supplements, is a real conversation worth having with your provider. Actually, I have yet to take this seriously and look for the best doctor to help me navigate this phase in life.
- Mindset work.This is not the end of me. It’s a new chapter. I deserve compassion and patience — especially from myself.
Small changes made a big difference. More energy. Better mood. My body was adapting — once I stopped fighting it and started working with it.
What I Want You to Know
If you’re in the thick of perimenopause right now, I see you. I know the days when you just want to cry and you don’t even know why. I know the exhaustion of feeling like you have to hold it all together when your body is doing its own dramatic thing internally.
But here’s what I’ve learned: some days are hard. That doesn’t mean all days are lost. You keep showing up for yourself. You keep choosing yourself. And slowly, steadily — you come back. Not the same version of you. A stronger one. A wiser one. A more deeply you one.
I stopped caring about the judgment. I stopped trying to keep up with who I used to be. I started embracing who I’m becoming. This is my season. I am enough, just as I am.
And so are you.
Here’s to our best years ahead. 🌿
“Stronger. Wiser. Unstoppable.” — and we’re just getting started.
-xoxo-
Em, ladysoda
